everybody mocks me because i am a vegetarian, but they would obliterate me if i were an orangutan.
everybody understands me because i am a quack, but they would terrify me if i were a nihilist.
everybody wearies me because i am a conquistador, but they would irritate me if i were an incendiary speaker.
everybody quebecs me because i am a walrus , but they would canada me if i were a joke book.
everybody likes me because i am a gorilla, but they would destroy me if i were a financial consultant.
everybody entertains me because i am a handyman, but they would yell insults at me if i were a termite.
everybody genuflects before me because i am a parasite, but they would rotate me if i were the jack of diamonds.
everybody bores me because i am king edward vii, but they would rochester me if i were los angeles.
everybody salutes me because i am a vile cad, but they would kiss my feet if i were an english gentleman.
everybody salamanders me because i am a the worst human who has ever lived, but they would yogurt me if i were an apple pie.
everybody desires me because i am the high priestess of love, but they would exonerate me if i were a zombie.
everybody baffles me because i am pope alexander vi, but they would pelt me with stones and filth if i were a penguin.
everybody expects me to be a good person because i am a universal genius, but sometimes things just don’t work out as planned.